Have you ever said one of these three lines (Or similar ones)
1. “I can’t lose weight because I have a back pain?”
2. “I couldn’t finish my project because my project partners were not easy to work with?”
3. “I can’t do what I want in life, because I have depression and anxiety?”
Let’s be honest here.
Every single one of us have had these thoughts, or similar ones, at least a few times in our lives, if not a lot. Maybe you even have some of these thoughts every single day, maybe today, which is by the way, completely normal.
But is it healthy?
Don’t get me wrong.
It is not to say that either having depression or anxiety, or having back pain, is easy.
It is not to say that everything in life is fair.
It is not to say that it’s not easy to not (!) blame those type of factors for how our life is.
But (!) most importantly is to acknowledge, understand and be honest with yourself –
YOU are in the very end, no matter what external factors happening, no matter your past, no matter what – In charge of your own life. You are stronger than this, and you are more capable than what you give yourself credit for.
Stop being the victim.
There are always ways to change it around, and do better. And why exactly do you want to do this? For yourself.
You deserve it.
You don’t deserve being a victim anymore.
I’ve been the victim of my own mind, my past, my circumstances, my excuses.
I wasn’t able to lose weight, I was overweight, I was depressed, I was exhausted, I was angry at my past and everybody in my life, I was not happy. And who was really to blame?
Myself. Because I let myself stay in the same situation, around the same type of people and I let myself drown in my own victimizing of my very own being.
What did that result in?
I was not able to live my life happily, free, and live life to the fullest.
Now I know that we CAN, we are capable.
If I can do it, YOU can do it.
We don’t know each others past, circumstances or anything else, but we do know that we are strong enough and worthy enough.
Never make the mistake of assuming that someone else’s life is easier, or that if someone has something you want, that they haven’t fought for it. We don’t know.
Always stay humble.
So how do you start taking responsibility in your own life, and stop being the victim?
1. Be aware. This is the most important one. If you are not aware, and not honest with yourself, how on earth will you know how to change something? Just start easy by learning to be aware of your thought patterns.
2. Acknowledge. Every time one of these victimized thoughts pops into your mind, accept it and don’t blame yourself. Acknowledge that this is how you feel. It is ok to be angry, sad or disappointed. It is ok to acknowledge that life isn’t easy and it is ok to cry.
3. Change. Do something to change the pattern of thoughts. Accept that that’s how you feel, and only then will you be able to little by little, replace it with something else.
If you are having a hard time losing weight due to back pain, learn about back pain, what you can do to ease it or possibly even fix it, take responsibility for it and learn what type of exercise you can do.
If you are having a hard time finishing a project due to difficulties collaborating with the people in your group, take charge and start communicating. Talk with them. Ask what can be done and be the one who does a change. In worst case, maybe there can be a change in the actual group members that is beneficial for everyone. Understand that everyone is responsible, and everyone is included.
If you have depression and anxiety, take responsibility for that and seek help. There are so many ways to work with this, and everybody has to start somewhere. If you just keep on telling yourself that this is how it is, and there is no way to change it, that will also be the result in your life and the truth for you.
If you tell yourself that this is how it is right now, I am not happy or satisfied with it and I will do whatever I can to work on this, you open up for the possibility to change it.
Your thoughts create your life.
Are YOU ready to take some steps?
Please feel free to share this article with someone who might need it, or like it if you got some inspiration from it!